I will have jeans without holes in my knees from crawling around after my kiddos,
I will do the dishes more often and not let them sit in the sink for days,
My floors won't be covered with apple juice and squished raisins and sticky fruit snacks,
My car won't have crushed cheerios and moldy sippy cups hiding under the seats,
I won't step on Legos every time I walk across my son's room to check on him in the middle of the night,
My living room will have a comfy couch and stylish curtains instead of a big rug and loads of baskets of toys,
and I will be wearing something other than workout clothes with my hair in a ponytail at school drop off.
But for now...
I will take the cuddles in our cozy nook while I read Brown Bear, Brown Bear for the tenth time of the day,
I will love that doing chores takes twice as long because it is more fun to watch little ones run through piles of folded clothes than it is to put them right away,
I will relish our afternoon runs at 4pm to the park and the exercise I get climbing to the top of the play structure and doing choo choo trains down the slide with both kids in tow,
I will smile every time that my son turns on our piano and teaches his sister how to dance and twirl around the living room and do somersaults,
I will giggle when we arrive at the park and I've forgotten that my son is still wearing his underwear over his pants from when he was pretending to be a superhero,
I will enjoy the extra food that I get to eat when I've made two different meals and my kids decide they don't like any of them,
and I will cherish every toothbrushing battle than ends with a sweet little bedtime prayer and a big tuba kiss on my cheek.
Every once in awhile I feel like I am super mom. I have my house put together, I have a schedule that we stick to, chores are done, I host little crafting parties, and I even make my bed.
Most of the time though, my car is a mess, I have piles of unfinished projects lying around on counters or stuffed in cupboards, my temper is short and I get impatient too quickly, I stay up too late and am tired during the day, and the clothes are dumped in the bottom of my closet instead of hanging up neatly like they should be.
When I am trying to be super mom, I do too much, am overly stressed, neglect what is most important, am never really present, and only appear to "have it together" on the surface, when really pretty much everything else is falling apart.
Instead of aspiring to be Super Mom, I want to be more intentional about "trying to be a good mom." I think that will look different for everyone, but here are a few things that I plan to concentrate on:
1. Use kind language. I need to remind myself about this every day. Sometimes I am so bossy... and then I wonder why my 4-yr-old is bossing me around. Hmm?
2. Remember I am on team together with my kids. I shouldn't complain about them, I made them! I don't want to bring down the team by being negative. Just like I tell my son that families stick together and stick up for one another, I need to always do the same for my kids and my husband. I don't need to lie about things that are hard, but I don't need to broadcast the terrible or annoying things that my kids do either. Building up the team means looking for the positive, reinforcing the good things that you see, and working together to improve what isn't working. Writing this makes me think we need to start having family "team" meetings more regularly!
3. Be still. Cuddle, read books, just sit in the room with them and "be" there- unplugged and present. We have been doing this a lot this week and undoubtedly every ten minutes or so my daughter comes over and randomly hugs me. It is the most precious thing ever and it is almost like a spiritual experience for me because I just feel like I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing right then in that moment. It feels awesome.
4. Be fun. This is hard when I am overtired... though always helps a lot to change the mood of the day. Mix it up and do things a little different. Make it backwards day, pretend you're on vacation and go be tourists in your town, go on a spur of the moment field trip, or just go grab a cookie at your favorite store and chat. I've got it easy because all I have to do it pull out baking soda, vinegar, and playdoh and make volcanoes and eruptions and my son seriously thinks I am super mom.
5. Take a break to recharge. Taking a break doesn't always have to mean finding a babysitter or leaving your kids with your spouse, but it can mean doing something that you love or need. You can include the kids if you want, or get them occupied doing something else so that you can recharge your batteries. Sometimes for me this means going upstairs briefly to go to the bathroom by myself! :) Another activity that is a break for me is going running. I love getting out in nature with my kids, they love sitting in the jogging stroller, and I really enjoy the workout I get pushing sixty plus pounds to the park! For some people that is not a break... that is a nightmare, so pick something else for your break! :)
(Photo Credit: Meghan MacAskill)
How about you? How do you want to be more intentional as a parent? What else would you add to my list? I have a feeling it will keep growing and growing!
Do you set goals for yourself each day (and then reset them again the next day) like me?
PS- My friend Alissa over at Creative with Kids has a wonderful Positive Parenting pinterest board that I highly recommend that you check out. She also has a great series on her blog with Positive Parenting resources that you can find online and in stores. I can always use new tools in my parenting tool belt, so these are great places to start.
PPPPS- The title of this post came from an awesome parenting workshop I went to recently. I was utterly inspired when I left.
Have a Happy Friday and a wonderful weekend! Love you guys! You all inspire me daily to be a better mom!